Aaron Carter's Out of Rehab: A Friday Song

Breaking news: Aaron Carter is out of rehab!

His manager explained the month-long Betty Ford stint to E!: "Several months ago Aaron came to me to help him return to music and to restart his career...Aaron, understanding the challenges and hard work it would take to get himself back to the top, requested to take some time before we started to heal some emotional and spiritual issues he was dealing with..."

Your response to this may be: To get back on top? When was he ever on top? Or: Wait who the $#%$ is this guy?

To help you understand this complex situation, I've written a song. Maybe it can be his first single on the new album.

Aaron Carter's our of rehab and I said: Who? Who? Who?
Yes his brother was, a Back Street boy but
That was done like a decade ago.
And I'm pretty sure it's not
Cuz his single "Aaron's Party" was hot.
Try to make this loser seem famous
But I say: No, no, hell no!

Oh wait- the Carter family also did that E! reality show House of Carters for like a month in 2006. Totally famous. I take it all back.

A Private Affair

This week, my favorite New York Times wedding write-up in a long time recounts the very intimate, private elopement of one Jessica Phillips and Greg Minah.

"The couple were married on Jan. 26, on the secluded Kauapea Beach on the island of Kauai, by Daphne Therese, a minister of the Church of Religious Science. The only other direct participants on hand were a ukulele player and a pair of photographers."

... plus that Times reporter documenting the event for some 30 million readers.