It's true. And I know what you're thinking, but I'm not just talking Julie & Julia here. There are like a thousand other women who write about the food they cook, whine adorably about the trials and tribulations and throw in some sassy little inane details about their completely conventional personal lives. And they are all going to be rich, famous, loved by millions and win pulitzer prizes one day. So, I have decided to get on the bandwagon. Stay in touch for my multi-part serious (exact end date TBD based on acquiring of book deal/ husband/ non-delusional personality.)
PART 1: "All Up in My Grill Grilled Cheese" *
Grilled cheese is like- an American classic. But it's also modern. Both retro and chic it has to be made just right or the whole dish is ruined. It's sort of like how one time I had this generic sensitive yet distant boyfriend and I was like: "Stop being so distant and get ALL UP IN MY GRILL already!" And he was like, "No, bitch you're crazy." So I made him this grilled cheese, and he fell completely in love with me and we were together forever. But don't worry my relationship with sensitive yet distant boyfriend isn't so secure that there won't be some serious drama in the future. And sexy restaurateur and Hollywood agents getting in the way- or should I say... ALL UP IN MY GRILL!
Read on for my secret, super-special foolproof recipe in just 15 easy steps.
Instructions**
1. Plug in George Foreman.
2. Take Wonder Bread out of fridge
3. Take 2 slices of Wonder Bread out of bag4. Take package of Kraft singles of the fridge. Open package. Take out 2 singles and take the plastic off of each one. (This is important. You don't want to leave the plastic wrap on either one of them.)
5. Put both slices of cheese between the two pieces of bread. (Make sure you don't put the bread between the pieces of cheese by accident- what a mess!)
6. Put Wonder Bread and Kraft Singles back in fridge.
7. Open lid of George Foreman Grill.
8. Put bread with cheese onto grill.
9. Close lid.
10. Wait 3 minutes.
11. Open grill.
12. Take off sandwich and put it on plate. NOTE: you'll want to use a plate and not a bowl (you'll squish your sandwich), glass or mug, or ziploc bag. This
may seem picky, but trust me you'll get the best results.
13. Unplug grill.
14. Enjoy sandwich.
15. If you failed to make a decent grilled cheese sandwich, plug in grill again and burn your house down. Cooking is a serious endeavor and you should be punished for not treating it as such.
* Yes, I came up with the title too. I am so brilliant!
**Instructions must be followed TO A T. If not, you will fuck it all up and die alone.
Bitch please! I am way cuter/younger/sassier than her. I am so on the path to greatness!
