Co-eds beware! Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes just bought this house at 42 West 12th. That means they're bringing Suri into dangerously close proximity to the New School and NYU which are both a mere moon rock's throw away.This could only mean one of two things:
1. Suri's alien intelligence means she is developing at superhuman speed and she will be attending college starting in the winter semester, to better educate herself before taking over the world.
2. She eats college students.
Either way, this is not good. We already know she's been drinking some mysterious power-granting elixir out of Starbucks cups, has a extraterrestrial slave (hidden inside a stuffed squirrel) who does her bidding and NEVER GETS COLD. By the time she has a college degree and a belly-full of freshman, it will be too late. Save yourselves!
