To catch you up, if you don't live and breath ABC's The Bachelor 24/7. C-list Hollywood gossip columnists and devoted reality tv watchers everywhere are going craaaaazy!
So, first a dude posted a video on youtube.com claiming he'd figured out which lucky lady Jason Mesnick proposes to in the season finale. That "spoiler" is here.
Then, some guy named Reality Steve, posted alot of long rambling posts and longer rambling videos of himself, the content of which basically amount to this:
Jason liked Molly all along, but ABC told Jason he had to pick Melissa and so he proposes to Melissa in the Finale. ABC really wanted us to see the Pinky Ring Fakeout because... In one of two post-show specials (to air next Monday and Tuesday) Jason will dumps her for Molly. The reason: ratings. It's a big dramatic audience shocker.
[ABC has been promoting a "shocking" "unprecedented" aftershow. Apparently, the aftershow was "so dramatic, so emotionally difficult" ABC decided to film it without the usual live audience "out of respect for the parties involved". (You can see the awesome preview here.) It is ok, mind you, to broadcast it to 12 million homes. Hmmm. Fishy.] You can find the full thirty-minute Reality Steve experience here. Caution: do not operate heavy machinery while reading or watching, you may fall asleep.
This all brings us pretty much up to date. Which is where my question comes in.
So this speculation (true or not) has lead to many angry fans shunning and eschewing Sweet Sweet Jason Mesnick. Was Jason in on the plan all along? Was he "playing" Melissa just to break her heart and boost the ratings? (Jason, who put his 4 year on television. Twice. And who had no problem rejecting 23 other crying women on live television. ) No, Jason would never do such a thing to Molly! They had a real connection! It's unimaginable.
But my real conundrum is this: everyone is all up in arms at ABC at the sheer notion that...... get ready.........
SOMETHING ON A TELEVISION SHOW MIGHT BE PLANNED OR ORCHESTRATED!
What? No! Couldn't be! The editors, producers, writers that bring us Bachelor Episodes every week never plan anything! Seriously? Come on people. You can love the Bachelor. You can love to hate the Bachelor, you can love to hate to love the Bachelor..... but you love it because it is a television show. That is all. If you wantde to watch real people fall in love free of intervention - go hang out on match.com or okcupid.com or sit in a bar on ladies night. Maybe even find a boyfriend of your own, even. Whatever.
But don't be mean to my one true love, Reality TV, just because it's not reality. Come on, you knew that already. Just like you know you'll never be a contestant on the show because you don't look like this in a bikini. For those of you living under a rock (or living an actual life) that's Melissa. Possible fiance and possible ex-fiance of The Bachelor #32, Jason Mesnick.
I guess we'll all have to wait till next Monday to find out the truth when we watch the Finale. Or maybe the hour long after show after the two hour finale. Sorry, the two hour long After-After Show the day after the after show and finale. Wait a second - I'm going to watch FIVE HOURS of Bachelor related programming in two days? I am ABC's bitch. But it feels so good....
